(ORIGINAL “GOING CRAZY” started writing ..1992 kolopolo)
Written: BY LEONARD RALPH PAUL GRANT/de Lopez
lrpgrant@yahoo.com
This book is still in the making please excuse the punctuation and forgive me if i have offended anybody.. some names have been changed to protect the innocent.
thank you
Think back to the time when you were young just a child, did you not always think that having more and bigger was better? Didn’t you think that you would always be a kid all your life ? and never grow old. I did ,even now I sort of do at times .More of nothing is not as much as a little of something. You got to have something . Like the song says nothing for nothing is nothing you got to have something. (Billy Preston)I have something I would like to share with you. On these pages are the history of my life and many others of whom I have shared it with. If you believe in God take some time to talk to him not just in troubled times but in good times as well. I am doing just that and finding more piece of mind. To be, or not to be . It is still the question. we all must answer one time or another.
When I was a kid I didn’t know of all the evil the world contained. As I grew older I began to see a different picture (adults are fuck ups too). I will always remember my childhood. Those were the good old days, cartoons, dogs, bikes, baseball, slingshots, and homemade tortillas.(by aunt Grace).
Personal history. Name: Ralph Paul Grant. Baptized Leonard.
Shortly after baptism given the first name Leonard. Born June 2, 1950 in Alhambra California Mother Carmelita Lopez. Father Paul Grant died at age of 23. (Hepatitis??) Until this day I am puzzled about his death I think he died in jail. Before I quit on the subject of my father let me say just a few more things about him I try to picture him but I cant, although I do remember one incident with him and my mother ,it was a minor accident we had in a truck. My father was driving .
My mother and father at this time didn’t have much to offer me “I say this now with all due respects to my mother who I love dearly ,understanding the past and what she had gone through”. Nobody ever told me much about my father, for reasons I soon found out as I grew older. (because of the way he died.) they were ashamed how did he die where did he die??still are questions to be answered perhaps it does not matter . (It was a dark secret hidden from us as children). My father is buried in the old San Gabriel cemetery. Clarence my uncle my dads little brother buried over my father without a headstone.
As i grew up into adulthood i noticed that i got much more information about my father from my aunts and uncles and grandmother mama Carmen (my mothers mother)..yes my father used drugs I promised i would never put a needle in my arm and i have kept that promise ..and try to pass it on to others along my travels in life.A sharp dresser and dancer good looker with a new car.. i guess he had a lot of good thing going on for him but hanging out with the wrong crowd and people will always do you in.
my grandfather was a well known man of the town owed part of the country club in San Gabriel built his own home on a corner contracted most of the chimney built in S. San Gabriel so he had plenty of money My grandfather was a bricklayer a (mason). Most of the chimneys in s. San Gabriel were built by my grandfather . a contractor ,and a inventor besides being a great man of the world. Mrs. Grant a dear and loving mother, a devoted wife.
My Mother has now been remarried, for over 30 years and still very much in love with the man she married mama passed away 3/25/99 God Bless her soul she was a special woman.
..he wanted the best for his kids.as most all parents want for there children .he wanted my father to follow in his footsteps but i can see my dad had other ideas...marriage was one at an early age he married my mom what a prize she was..a natural beauty sweet sixteen just a kid herself. My grandfather did not approve of the marriage even though they were married without his blessing and expressed it though out there marriage did not help them sort of speak financially just to prove a point to them both ..i saw that later as i grew up. My grandfather wanted my dad to go on to college and become an engineer or a lawyer as he wanted me to be later on as i grew of age.
I was to live with my great grama Mary Romo (shortly after my fathers death) where I was very comfortable despite of the poor conditions i had plenty of love and care.. I felt secure with her. I was told she took very good care of me. I remember living with my mama Carmen (my mothers mother) for a while and her daughter my moms sister Mary Helen she was my little play mate I am a year older than my aunt . Mama Carmen lives in the same house on Michigan St..In the city of Boyle Heights
One day Mary Helen and I were playing and I swallowed a marble every time I sat at my stool to make caca I would check to see if it came out. It took a couple of days for it to appear. I thought I ‘d share that with you. Its just one of those memories that stay with you all your life.
I was raised by my great grandmother (on my mothers side) for the first 5 years of my life. My great grama died of a heart attack cutting down a tree in front of our house. God bless her soul. I was there. I remember the day clearly I was in front of our house on my tricycle my grama was in the front yard with an ax I remember asking her “why are you cutting down the tree” . She said she was going to cut down the tree she was tired of it for what ever reason.. She continued to swing the ax to the tree I noticed she was running shorter of breath with each stroke she took. The next door neighbor saw her and tried to stop her but she did not pay any mine to him.. A little bit shortly she fell to the grown. The neighbor helped her in the house and I went for help racing down Angeleno Ave.. on my tricycle to my aunts house (Grace). I told her and my cousins what happen and they all ran to the house.Its now evening and i see grama still laying on the couch with a crucifix on her chest..with all her family around her. I know in my heart that my great grand mother loved me very much, and she will always be with me for as long as I live, God bless her.”she is my guardian angel.”My closes companions were my cousin Lorie & my aunt Mary Helen . Oh! and my two dogs, Chico and Ready, and a tortoise that lived under the house. I always remember that my cousins would baby sit me and keep me company on weekends it was fun. We would awake on Sunday morning really early and walk to the old mission church many time my cousin Lorie would spent the night and she would go with us. We then would come home and have breakfast nopales with eggs I love them...blackberry Jello and sugar donuts were a few of my favorite snacks.. i helped my grama make those donuts . If I got sick grama would fix me yerba buena, ( leaves of a plant boiled and served as a tea with lemon (an old Mexican Indian remedy past on though older generations) it was really good for you heals the body.. Every evening before bed I would have to drink warm milk off the stove I hated it because I didn’t like the skin that would raise to the top of the pan ..i would have to eat it and drink the milk before leaving the table .yuk! My cousins were instructed not to let me off the table until I finished my milk. My cousins taught me to pinch my nose and then drink the milk it made it much easier. i still cant drink even warm milk now maybe with a bit of chocolate.
I had a little red wagon I would load up with bottles that i accumulated throughout the neighborhood when the wagon was full i would walk to Leo’s market with my dogs to get my goodies in exchange candy or toys. My great grama loved me so much her last words spoken (Grace) were “cuida a mi Leonard.”( take care of my Leonard ). I saw a lot of Grace and her daughter after my great grandmother passed away ,they just lived a block .
Many times I would have nightmares of falling from the sky then awake and realize I had just finished pissing in bed. I took the habit to my grand parents house mama put plastic under my sheets until I grew out of it. (insecurity). i thank mama for being understanding she wasn't the spanking type as my grandfather was.
waiting for the Elms truck for my donuts and evergreen life savers was one of the big things to do for the day.. We bought our produce from a little truck that would go by on week ends the sweet potatoes were really good . My cousins Renee, Lupe, Margaret, Frances and Charlie would baby sit me on many occasions. Until this day I am very grateful to my cousin Margaret’s boyfriend now husband for putting chrome twin pipes on my first tricycle .Let me take this opportunity to mention that I am very thankful for all the love and affection they all gave me. All the girls are women now and beautiful to say would be an understatement.
My grandfather use to tell me that he never seen any kid move his feet as fast on a tricycle than I did. Daddy use to call me Pancho that was my nickname. and my name isn’t Frank. I called my grandparents mama and daddy because the adopted me and raised me most all of my life. Before the death of my father my brother and sister Nicholas and Linda were already living with my grandparents.
Rudy Gaytan my step father a good man, they are both living in Laguna Niguel, There first child they had together was my sister Julie then and ten years later came Carrie the little sister. I have always called them my sisters, to me there is no such thing as half a sister got that.?
I united with Nicky and Linda and my grandparents to live in San Gabriel for the next 5 years. Living in the same household were also my aunt Edna who later changed her name to Terri it is her middle name) and my uncle Clarence, who died of an overdose of heroin at the early age of 18. Clarence was dumped in the alley behind our house by his buddies. After numerous attempts I believe they got scared they couldn't revive him so they laid him in the alley. In the autopsy milk was found in his blood. a way to revive heroin addicts). Clarence was found by the police and was rushed to the hospital. I will never forget that night for as long as I live when the police knock on the door and told my grandmother they had to rush Clarence to the hospital. It was short after when she got the call from the hospital that he had past away. My grand mother broke down in tears and I cried with her, it was sad. All thou I wasn’t really very close to Clarence I cried very much for him at his funeral he was buried on top of my father Paul without a headstone I will never understand my grand father for doing that as if Clarence never existed.
I would visit my aunt Grace on weekends along with my brother and sister and she would make us tortillas a mano with frijoles de hoya. umm! good! She even kept my dogs Chico died shortly after I left but ready lived with her for many years I remember coming back after not seeing him In 7 years and he recognized me it was a great reunion I found out later he ran out and got hit by a car and died.
After my great-grandmothers death I was sent to live up the street with my grand parents (My fathers parents) Lemuel Paul Grant and Dolores Seville Jackson of Grant. Mr. and Mrs. Grant were very wealthy built there own home in San Gabriel. My grand father didn’t approve of my fathers marriage to my mother he wanted Paul to continue his school and become a lawyer or engineer. My parents were young and I believe very much in love at this time. .My grandfather always held a grudge toward my mother after my fathers death..
Terri was a perfect student good grades and very talented played the piano and danced , Clarence also played the piano very well I recall. My father I’m told loved to sing and did exceptionably well.
My aunt Terri is still alive and living in Montebello Cal.. Terri always did her best to keep us kids disciplined . understanding the loss of her brother and all I never thanked her for that. God willing I will one day.
Shortly after the death of Clarence all our lives changed. Terri got married, Terri was an A student and now has a masters degree. . Because my grandfather wanted the best for his grand children he adopted all 3 of us and we moved to Santa Clara up (north).(To keep us away from the drugs) and all the past memories. We never forget though. do we.?
As I grew older I began to take a liking on baseball I taught my brother and sister how to play and made them play with me on many occasions. On week ends I would clean up the living room make a gallon of cool aid and charge a nickel to watch horror movies.
My grand father at this time had a tile business in Tecate and was beginning to bring workers from Mexico and board them in the big garage out back where he later built a factory manufacturing tile and installing it also. He thought it would save him money and a lot of traveling time. and it did.
When daddy made his trips to pick up a load of tile he would like to take Clarence with him at that time Clarence was 16 or 17 but Clarence didn’t like to go all the time so they argued all the time. Daddy wanted to teach him a trade ,but Clarence rather spend time with his friends. When Clarence stopped going along with daddy I would go along to keep him company mama would make us some sandwiches and later as we approached Mexico daddy would buy me a bag of cherries , on the way back he would buy a bag of Oreo cookies and some jack cheese and a quart of milk apiece .
In school I wasn’t to popular I was a quite sort of kid my friend Richard was the popular guy . Richard Garcia was good with his fists so if anybody gave me any hassles he backed me up most of the time. We attended Roosevelt Elementary . Michael Vasquez was the 3rd musketeer and the most daring of all of us. Michael use to stand behind the girls in line up and rub up against them he did it every time. The horniest guy I ever met at that time. I remember the girls were afraid to tell the teacher.
When we came back to California to live I went to visit Michael and It was a nice reunion he looked in good health it wasn’t until a few years later I was told he had past away from some illness. I was very sorry to . Michael had a collection of horror magazines that was unbelievable. I remember going over his house after school many times going through the magazines and watching his ant farm.
As a kid I developed a liking for dinosaurs I had toys and books. I thought maybe I would be one of those guys who goes digging up dinosaur when I grew up. I remember Clarence always trying to teach me how to box he would always finish by making me cry them he would say “oh mamma's little boy has coo”. I now realize he was drunk on something because I could see it in his eyes. I caught him many times going through mamas purse. When Mama and daddy were not at home Clarence would bring friends over and play the piano drink cool aid and smoke pot. (mama and daddy would be out for the day or week end or course). Many times there were things and jewelry missing from the house. Several of Daddys' tools ended up in the pawn shop. (Drugs will make you do many evil things.)
Clarence was planning to get married just before he died. to a Mexican girl named Irene I remember her because I heard her play the piano.(nice). Daddy was in Mexico when Clarence past when he returned and heard word of his death he didn’t flinge as if he knew it was bound to happen.
My aunt Terri was a big part in our lives she was the one who disciplined all of us she was an out standing student plus once elected the queen of San Gabriel all in all she was beautiful and talented her dream was to become a school teacher which very soon she was. Terri was the perfect daughter such a shame for her to lose both her brothers. Daddy use to use his whip on the boys when they were out of line he use to say “if man can train a lion with a whip I’ll be damn if he can’t train a human being”. I believe after witnessing numerous beatings, Terri wanted no part of that whip.
During this time Terri was dating a guy named Jerry who I met several times he was nice. Later on I began to see another guy coming over to see her and take her out Leonard was his name a big tall guy we called him big Leonard. I really liked Leonard’s car he had a black 59 Chev. Terri and big Leonard use to take me my brother and sister to the drive in quite a bit. I remember we went to see Snow White wow! that was some movie then. Terri would always take big red apples to the drive in and they were good. Terri and Leonard Noroski later married. They had a beautiful wedding I was the ring bearer and my sister Linda was the flower girl. The wedding reception was held at Hickory Crest which now is Victors on Mission Ave..
Leonard was a very nice man who came from a nice family. as the years went by Leonard developed cancer and later past on but not before leaving Terri with a child he never got the chance to even see. Lenora.
Terri later remarried to Arthur Mendoza and bought a home in Montebello Art and Terri later had two more children Anthony and Steven crazy little guys.
I remember on Christmas eve me my brother and sister stayed up waiting for Santa Claus but we fell asleep. We woke up in the morning and ran to the living room wow! presents everywhere we really thought Santa brought them . I was very naive. I remember that for a long time every day after school I would have to walk to the old mission church for catechism until one day I made my first communion Linda and also made her communion after the communion mama and daddy drove us to Terri’s new house in Montebello we took pictures and had dinner.
After Clarence’s death daddy decide to sell the house and move on because he didn’t want us children to be raised in the area after all that had happen in San Gabriel I truly believe it was just to much for both of them. So daddy sold the house and the factory . He sold the factory to the Razook brothers .I remember daddy was very upset at the fact that he just about gave away the house(to Jesus Pimental) for nothing that’s how bad he wanted out he made us help him tear up all the books in the library. I didn’t like doing it. He had every national geographical book there was at that time. along with many good hard cover books and encyclopedias. (The house was sold to the Pimentels)
Shortly after the house was sold my mother had a good by party for us at mama Carmen’s house all the relatives on my mothers side seemed to be there, it was sad I remember crying because I didn’t want to move. It was a very dramatic scene. That same day we were on our way to Santa Clara.
We lived in Santa Clara for about a year, It was a sort of a hit and run stay. We moved into a small 3 bedroom duplex they were like little cabins I remember well because it snowed in 1963 the first time I ever saw it snow. I was enrolled in a school named Patrick Henry it was a cool school . I was about to make the baseball team before we moved to Puerto Rico. We had a little friend named Margaret Mary Cruz. I will always remember her because when she made a funny face when she cried so we liked to make her cry . we would wined her ears like a watch and say “relo relo” which means watch in Spanish. Our neighbor next door to us was a little old man he lived by his self. We use to call him little head because he had a little head nice guy he never bothered any body I can still picture him in his car just sitting there, good old little head. He sort of looked like Mr. Magoo.
We never had enough time to make friends it seemed. I did not have many friends in Santa Clara most of the time just me my brother and sister were together. My grand father was always on business trips back and forth to Mexico Daddy had tile factories in Tecate and Mexicali. . Mama started drinking a bit while daddy was gone, worrying about him I guess. I remember daddy coming back from his trip one night and getting very upset with her about her drinking and smoking. He started to mark the liquor bottles when he would leave on his business trips. . One time on the weekend daddy took us to San Francisco it was exiting the first time we went over the Golden Gate Bridge. we had to pay a toll to cross the bridge.
I remember The Benny Kid Perret vs.. Emil Griffith fight. First time I ever seen somebody get beaten to death. I never in my life had seen anybody get beat that bad I yelled at the TV hoping that the referee would hear me and stop the fight but it never happen .I thought that Emil Griffith was the toughest boxer in the world at that time, and he was. I was really sad to fine out that the Kid never made it out of his coma. Benny left behind a wife and a five year or boy behind who I remember had beat up a little girl in kindergarten.(I read it in the newspaper.) He said he wanted to be like his daddy. Gillette sponsored boxing back in these days. Today Budweiser is a big sponsor
It didn't seem like much time before we moved to Peru, South America, big move uh? We drove into LA. one weekend to get our pass ports for the big journey to South America. at the same time we took the opportunity to visit relatives .
Moving to South America was a really exciting ordeal my brother and sister and I we flew in an airplane. It was our first time in a plane I never cared much for airplanes after my first flight, they made me sick (the air pockets). My sister Linda got sick first I got sick just looking at her throw up all over the window I think she thought it would go out side. My grandmother used my baseball book to clean it up. My little brother Nicky never got sick I remember daddy being really proud of him for that. It sure was nice to walk on land after that flight.
I remember boarding a huge ship I remember the name the SS. Vespucci. I got sea sick the first day but not before trying to be brave, but the sea seems to get you after so many hours or days what ever comes first. I remember seeing the biggest fish in the ocean I have ever seem a Raya (Devil fish) it flew out of the water for what seemed like a few seconds. When we past through the Panama Canal I had my head hanging out off the ship I didn’t want to miss a thing. I got sea sick the first day but not before trying to be brave, but the sea seems to get you after so many hours or days what ever comes first.) We all had a great trip, and arrived safely to our destination.
When we moved to Peru Daddy looked into some herbs for mama to take for her nerves I remember it was some nasty tasting stuff. After a week we noticed it was doing mama good. “Those Indian remedies (Incas).
Poverty, beggars and peasants filled the streets along with shoeshine boys and cripples. Everywhere beggars trying to get the leftovers that people left on there plates in restaurants on the main Blvd.. My brother and sister got warned several times not to feed the beggars. Sometimes we left food on our plates on purpose., we couldn’t help it. It was a first experience for us kids seeing people like this. The restaurants use to hire someone just to keep them out,It was sad and hard for me to eat in public. That might explain the fact that I don’t like eating out much. learn something every day. Its such a shame that for pennies in South American money you can buy a bowl of soup in a restaurant and the people who live there can’t afford it.
We were enrolled in catholic military schools and learned to read write and speak Spanish. The only words in Spanish that we knew were caca, pipi and agua. I knew a little bit more than my brother and sister because I was brought up with my great grandmother and she spoke it all the time I had forgotten most of it when I moved with my grand parents they spoke English in the house although they did speak Spanish They had learned to speak it in south America years before we were born.
I think the name of my school was Jose Luis De Obreo‘ The education was much more advanced in most of the Latin countries for example the fifth grade class is equal to the seventh or eighth grade class in Los Angeles. In class I was the center of attraction number one I was the tallest in the class and the oldest and number two I was an American but they had never seen a American like me. I am dark skinned and I speak English they thought every American had blonde hair and blue eyes. I taught them to play basket ball (by the rules).
I found it very intriguing that my grandparents had lived in Peru during my fathers adolescence. Terri was born in Lima, Peru. Terri and Paul (my dad) also attended catholic military schools. all boy school.
De Ja Vu or what ever you call it.?? We lived in a Hotel in the capital, Lima for quite of bit of the time we were there we ate out at restaurants during this time in the hotel “sopa de La. casa” the soup of the day .
Once again... “Let me make it clear , if by now you have not noticed my English . Its not very good, punctuation’s, paragraphs, please bear with me, you’ll get over it. I might be getting better as I go along. The computer program helps quite a bit. I started with Text to Mac write to Microsoft Word to PageMaker to now Claris Works...this computer is a apple CIIX 80megs in the hard drive which i up graded to 250 megs 16 megahertz. monitor is a apple 2 page 19”..,nice and big”.
I learned to like Peru despite of the living conditions that existed, most kids at the age of thirteen can adjust much more easier than a adult. The people of the country over all were very friendly what little they had they were always willing to share or offer. I made friends as did my brother and sister. Our parents (mama & daddy) put all of us in a boarding house which was the first for us. The boarding house was operated by a husband and wife middle aged which seemed like elders at my time. Mr. & Mrs. Grivas were educated and very discipline people .In the boarding house there were about 10 more other kids besides Nicky and myself(for boys only). All of us were from the U.S. except one, Agusto whose parents owned a farm in Peru.
Agusto’s father invited all the boys in the boarding school to the farm on a weekend it was a great experience and we all had a really good time.
At school before class most of the guys would play marbles which is a popular game in school in S.A (south America). I learned to shoot marbles in the styles they use .(I was very good at it and still am.), soccer and a little boxing were also on my menu. .All these things were also in our weekend recreation program at the boarding house.
Mama and daddy were enjoying life . That's what daddy wanted. Visiting all the historic places driving all over. My grandfather loved to travel as if you haven’t noticed. Mama called daddy a gypsy from time to time. She always wanted to settle down,I always heard her say. She didn’t have much control, of such matters daddy was in charge. Mama always adjusted. (so loving) .Mama had a nervous break down when my father died and was institutioned. I found out years later, Then Clarence , well she’s been through a lot. (by the way mama is still alive and living in Montebello God bless her soul.(mama past away on Feb. 1997) she was cremated ..her ashes are at the potrero grange cemetery in Monterey park ca.
After about a year i remember getting home from school my mama and daddy were at the boarding house ,daddy said he was thinking about us moving to Puerto Rico he thought that the climate would be good for him. Sure enough it wasn’t long after we were on our way to the Caribbean Islands.
I remember when we left Peru , going through Ecuador a lot of walking passports. Finally to get on this huge ship (SS Vespucci) to Curocau ,our first stop a small island I will always remember, all the people looked the same, all the men and woman wore white clothing. The .People were very dark completed and the men wore white hats. We all spent the night in Curocau in a small motel room with mosquito sheets over the bed . I still got bit. We boarded a ship in the morning to Puerto Rico. The next day we were all aboard and Bon voyage to P. R.
Puerto Rico , capital San Juan an island 35 miles long by 100 miles wide. A beautiful little Island. We didn’t have trouble with the language as you know we had a head start of a year in Peru). but it was sure spoken much faster and some words were different but not much , anyway we managed. O.K. we moved into a small city by the name of Bayamon ,a little south of the capital San Juan.
